Catwalk - the results

Peter Thompson writes:

"It was perhaps too much to expect all the entries for the CATWALK competition to be about models in the fashion industry. Some were, although written from a somewhat absurdist angle, but others took the word CATWALK as the name of a new restaurant, an old night club and a dark alley. Angela Higson’s CAT WALK unfortunately over-ran but it had some good jokes about a protective mother spoiling her son’s chances with a girl she deemed unsuitable. Was mother the cat in this piece? She was certainly manipulative. Cliff Chapman’s DEDICATED FOLLOWERS seemed to be a classic catwalk story of a young male model waiting to go on although seriously under the influence. Gradually we learn that this is not a fashion show: he is in a cell and is about to be executed, unless his girlfriend can save him, which she can. Goodness! 150 points .Next up with 205 points was Eamon McDowell’s aptly titled MODEL MADNESS, in which everything went wrong because of the personal assistant’s booking the stars for the wrong day. Above that in the final order was a charming little story of a cat and a mouse, abandoned by the house-owners, who realise that they need to work together to survive; happily they end up walking off into the sunset paw in paw: 224 points for THE MISFITS by Peter Vincent.

In fourth place with 242 points was SHORT CUTS by Roger Mayhew: the setting was an alley through which assorted members of society pass, young and old, couples in love, other couples arguing in Polish, a man committing a crime, a woman doing little acts of kindness, everyone contributing to a broader story of life in the city. Oh yes, the alley was called THE CATWALK and the Council decided to close it. Just above that was Carrie Eden’s CAKEWALK in which the beautiful but bulimic fashion model stereotype was challenged by a portly matron who knew her way round the Equality Act: 244 points. So where was Sherlock Homes? Surely not modelling a new line in deerstalkers! No, Mrs Hudson brought him news that Dr Watson’s bedtime reading included 50 SHADES OF DORIAN GRAY, which she came across when cleaning under the floorboards in his bedroom. The Great Detective put this revelation together with blonde hairs on the doctor’s clothing and other indelicate evidence of attendance at the notorious CATWALK nightclub and the game was up. But Watson’s honour could still be saved: you know my methods, Hudson: 273 well-deserved points for Bill Gordon. Finally, the winner was, yet again, Debbie Maya, this time with THE WAITER. The scene is a newly opened New York restaurant, called THE CATWALK (prop. Phil Philmar). He has reviewers in, although he doesn’t know it, and they are served abominably by Jethro Dykes, as the waiter who aspires to be a film star. Phil berates him for his incompetence; but casting directors at the next table like his style. So, in a lovely reversal of fortune, the proprietor sees his reviewers storm out, determined to destroy his business with withering reviews while the abominable waiter goes on to Hollywood. First place with 278 points and drinks all round and congratulations to Fiona McGee for putting on such a varied and enjoyable entertainment".